Penny Arcade
Tube strike!

Cardboard Tube Samurai (or CTS) is the alternate ego of Johnathan Gabriel after finding a cardboard tube in a dumpster, which he promptly used to smack Tycho Brahe in the stomach. He is a man who has wandered the land and become the enemy of petty thieves and crooks.

The Legend[]

Cardboard and Steel[]

Before the story, the Cardboard Tube Samurai wandered the land and defeated petty criminals as they tried to take rice and animals from the ordinary folk. He soon became the main enemy of powerful foes, who each demanded access to his Cardboard Tube. Link

As the main villains attacked him, he scared them away by stating the secondary names of the Cardboard Tube and stood still for two days straight against his nemesis. Ninjas arrived to help his foe, but they did not survive long, as each one was defeated at their own game through one attack; Path through Oblivion.

The Wandering Age[]

As he was practicing his meditation skills underneath a rocky waterfall, two ninjas tried to take his Cardboard Tube away, only to be caught by the warrior. He broke a ninja's arm and forced him onto the second's sword. He then used his Cardboard Tube to finish the job. Afterwards, he placed his tube in the waterfall with him; a sign of purification. Link

The Wandering Age 2[]

As he crossed a bridge leading to another land, he passed a woman who soon pulled out a blade lodged within her umbrella. The Samurai was prepared for this, however, and defended himself. Rain began to pour down and the assassain used her umbrella to cover herself. Link

Last Rites[]

His reputation began to increase as he wandered, he even fought alongside Tobun; a hero in the area.

He found a note from Tobun which was impaled into a man's chest, telling him to meet Tobun in Winter. The two had a fearsome duel, but the Cardboard Tube Samurai won. Link

The Cardboard Tube Samurai stood in a snowy field, feeling the snow touch his palm. He puts on his harvester hat and walks through, leaving the body of Tobun on the ground. Link

At the Feast of Afterwinter[]

The Cardboard Tube Samurai attacked The Shadow Lord's hideout and took his guards unaware. This made the Shadow Lord aware of his impending attack. Link

As Spring Dawns[]

The Shadow Lord tried one more attempt to take the Cardboard Tube Samurai's life. As the Cardboard Tube Samurai walked through the forest, he knew that there was an ambush that surrounded himself and Tonkatsu, his pig. He had already formulated a back-up plan to defeat the foes. Link

The Hawk and the Hare[]

The Cardboard Tube Samurai stopped at a tea house in the middle of winter. As he sat down to drink, the attendant whispered something into his ear. Shortly afterwards, the two men seated on either side of him rose and attacked. He calmly continued to drink his tea. Outside, a hawk is seen taking a hare foraging amidst the snow, following which the Cardboard Tube Samurai is seen walking peacefully out of the building into the snow. Link

The Seventh Spring[]

A small child, armed with a stick, prepares to assault a cave. He is stopped by the Carboard Tube Samurai who takes the child as his pupil. Years pass, and the pupil becomes a man. The Cardboard Tube Samurai judges him ready to enter the cave. The pupil does not return. Link

The Eldren[]

Many years later, the Cardboard Tube Samurai stands before a man dressed as a monk seated in the snow. The monk taunts the samurai, saying that, while the Cardboard Tube Samurai could have once killed him, those days of his youth are long past. Before the monk can finish his insult, he cries out in horror as the top half of his head slides off his body. The Cardboard Tube Samurai turns to leave, a smile on his grizzled face. Link

See Also[]

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