The Merch is a cute cartoon character with a devastating past. He was created and rose to popularity sometime before the 1996 release of Sonic 3D Blast.


The Merch when enough merch merch is bought

Appearance Edit

The Merch appears to be a blue square with small arms, two perched ears and a bit of hair. He has a cheerful expression whenever he is awake and a cute and adorable smile.

History Edit

Sometime in The Merch's past, an Evil Wizard cast a spell on him that can only be lifted once a week if good children purchase enough Merch merchandise. This places The Merch into a prolonged coma. When the merchandise is bought, he wakes up from his coma long enough to share some keen insight, then falls unconcious again.

Not enough people bought Merch merchandise at Christmas in 2005 and so he transformed into The Fleshreaper. He began to fly from house to house and collect torsos. Santa Claus saved the day by getting kids to buy merchandise, thus returning The Merch to his original state.

Personality Edit

The Merch is a cartoon character who has a terrible past filled with angst and woe. The curse made him into something he's not; a murderer. When not enough merchadise is bought, he turns into The Fleshreaper.

He usually reveals that he fucked someone's dad. He apparently fucked Santa Claus's dad.

Appears In Edit

The Merch

Videogames Are In The News

An Unbelievably Merch Christmas Part 1

An Unbelievably Merch Christmas Part 2

An Unbelievably Merch Christmas Part 3

An Unbelievably Merch Christmas Part 4

An Unbelievably Merch Christmas Part 5

An Unbelievably Merch Christmas Part 6

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